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FACTS ABOUT DANZANIA

Compiled from the U.S. C.I.A. World Factbook

LOCATION

19 00 N, 59 25 W -- east of Mexico, south of Greenland, west of Africa, east and west of Japan

FLAG

A green background with parallel palm trees bordering a portrait of a telephone psychic worker, with the motto, "Tread On Me" in yellow letters PICTURE

AREA

27,750 sq km: slightly larger than Maryland, but nowhere near as big as Texas MAP

LAND BOUNDARIES

275 km eastern border with the Greater Republican Union of Bulemus (G.R.U.B.)

COASTLINE

1,771- 2,123 km, depending on mysterious off-shore volcanic activity

MARITIME CLAIMS

"As far as we can see." Also, parts of Biscayne Bay.

INTERNATIONAL DISPUTES

Claims US-administered Navassa Island. Also, claims the US should administer Danzania.

CLIMATE

Semi-arrid, with pockets of tropical heat. No wind beyond coastal regions.

TERRAIN

Rocky, with loose pebbles and sand. Lowest point: Death Valley -1 m; highest point: Mt. Kilimanjaro 8 m (low tide).

NATURAL RESOURCES

A particularly hardy form of wild and domesticated rutabagas.

POPULATION

731,539 (July,1996)

Birth Rate: 38.15 births/1000 population

Death Rate: 38.16 deaths/1000 population

Life Expectancy at Birth: 93.6 years, males 81.2 years, females 102.3 years

ETHNIC DIVISIONS

None. Everyone is a mix of 10-12 different races and basically chooses the one they want to be on official forms and surveys.

RELIGIONS

The officially recognized religion is Hard-Shell Baptist (influence of missionaries from Alabama). Head of Church: The Rev. T. Lawrence (Larry) Shannon. However, most people refrain from any discussion of religion or politics, in hopes of becoming consultants.

LANGUAGES

Spanish/Cajun/English, with a few Hebrew words for emphasis.

GOVERNMENT

Type: an absolute monarchy (His Majesty, King Danxii III) with a rubber-stamp parliament.

Capitol: Port Au Selma (missionaries again) PICTURE

Independence: 1 April 1916 (from Haiti)

National Holiday: Ground Hog Day (he comes out of his hole, sees the shadow of a machete, and is eaten by the celebrants)

Constitution: molded on 4 April 1916

National Anthem: Danzania

Legal System: based on the Napoleonic Code and Alabama common-law, with most disputes settled by "varmint races".

Suffrage: eligibility begins at birth, so kissing babies is a serious political skill

Executive Branch:

Monarchs- H.M. King Danxii III, Queen Mabel

President - Mr. Kenbo Krakatoa

Various Ministers - Rotates based on who wants to do it

Duchess - Sarah Ferguson (Fergie)

Legislative Branch:

Parliament - members elected at-large every 25 years (with a 2-term limit..."setting an example for the US")

Judicial - mostly "race" referees, with continuing disputes elevated to the Supreme Varmint Race of Appeals

Political Parties - National Organized Front for Union and Nationhood (NOFUN), Grand Old Time 'Cause we Have Autocracy (GOTCHA)

ECONOMY

Labor Force: 689,743

By Occupation: 2% rutabaga farmers, 83% telephone psychic workers (and part-time government officials), 15% tourists

Agriculture: rutabagas, wood, grass

Exports: essential advice on love, marriage, and investments.

Imports: everything not brought in by tourists.

TRANSPORTATION

Railways: Uncle Jimmy's Kiddie Railroad at Fun City (will haul adults for extra charge)

Highways: paved 2 km; unpaved 3,978 km

Ports: Port Au Selma, Mobile, Gadsden, Tuscaloosa Shores

Merchant Marine: Danzania Cruise Lines

Airports: Danzania International and Crop Duster Airstrip (Port Au Selma)

COMMUNICATIONS

Telephones: 2,134,896

Radio: one country and western station (new hat, mostly)

Television: one satellite dish; gets TOON, ESPN, TNN, TBS, CMT, and bleed-through on the Playboy Channel

DEFENSE

Branches: Ocean Rangers, Air Demons, and Ground Hogs

Draft Age: 35 males, 32 females, universal service

Defense Expenditures: 8 billion dinookies

EDUCATION

98% literacy in some language; school attendance is mandatory through the 3rd grade.

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